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Junipoo
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Name: Sammy
Location: Gwinnett, Georgia, United States
Birthday: 5/18/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: What? Living life, yo. For real. The persuit of happiness. Life is rough, I'm just looking for somebody to help smooth that thang on out. You know. Help me keep my head up. I want money, and success, but most of all, love.
Expertise: I'm a hustler homie, ask about me. I can do a lot of shit and I'm learning more.
Piano, Novel writing, screen play writing, script edititng, special effects, administrative PC applications, American Liturature, cullinary arts,
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  SloppySo
Member Since:
9/28/2005
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| I'm really depressed and frustrated today and yesterday. I've been frustrated for weeks and the depression has just set in. I miss my babies so much. It's gonna cost 400 dollars that we dont have and won't have for a while to get Carla to me, and it's gonna be crasy if I manage to find us a place before Kisha throws us out on the street for not cleaning up after her and her kids like she wants us to. THe lazy bitch get's lazier every day. I hate her with a passion and I would've rather lived on the street than stayed here, but Akilah insited on giving the bitch outr money and staying here. Then just as I called it, she took outr money, flipped out about something else for no reason, and said to get out. Akilah keeps sacrificing us to bullshit and then just shrugging her shoulders and saying things like, "no way to go back and fix it." I realize that shit, but if you're just gonna keep fuckin up, I ain't fixing shit. I'm in this bitch starving and I'm sure that Kisha gave her food stamps away while Akilah did what she always does when she spends money out of my sight and overspent and spent foolishly. She blows through money like we both work full time and then she tries to spend what ever I've tried to clutch onto. I've been temped several times to take her cash and only giv it to her when I know she needs it and only what she actually needs. I once asked her to pick me up something from the store that wouldn've been a dollar. I told her to get the money out of my wallet. She took a 20 out and spent all but 2 or 3 dollars. Came back with stuff I had not budgeted to be spending on and right away, my budget scheme was don the toilet. We got 35 dollar shecks for a job last week. Hers disappeared magically. She's sleeping in front of me or sitting on the computer next to me most of the hours of most days. So where did it go? SHe can't or won't account for it. I feel like I should've taken it. We need gas. I got places I need to go apply for work, we need to get food, she needs to be applying for work and going to the VA, and lord knows what she blew her last 30 dollars on. That shit has got to be the most frustrating thing about Akilah. She is completely unable to manage money on a budget. FUCK. Needless to say I'm seually frustrated to the point that I'm concerned for my behavior. I don't blame Akilah for that. I do, however, blame her that I don't get blowjobs EVER. Sorry about the lack of paragraph breaks. I'm just goin off. Here's hoping that we get out of here safely and that I get my baby before it's too late. I guess i'm gonna have to try and breath life into my relationship somehow or just do what anybody else would do. | | |
| I'm with this woman. Her name is Akilah. I met her on the way out of my marriage to Sammantha Johnson. That was a horrible time. If you were reading my blogs about my life in 2008, the bitch was having a few affairs and trying to keep me as her faithful husband. I really didn't know her at all. She did alot of lying to me and admitted that she liked me, so she tricket me, and then we got pregnant so she felt stuck. If you read far back enough then come to today and have to face the reality that that bitch was lying the entire time. She was always seeing Steve and John. I was so stupid. Fuck that though. I've been with Akilah since August of 2008. It's been a very interesting relationship, superficially, because our life is just...crazy. Beyond that, for me it's the weirdest experiment-gone-right that I've ever done on myself. You see, Akilah is just not the type of woman that I commit too? That's how to put it simply. I normally stay with very dark women. Akilah is brown. A beautiful redish brown. I like younger women and virgins, cause I like women who haven't had a bunch of sex partners. Akilah turns 30 this year, is from the US Virgin Islands, and was in the Aiforce after that. Those things, along with the distant relationship between her and her father probably contributed to the sex life she's had her whole life before she met me. In my opinion she has lived as a nasty hoe. It often bothers me, because I'm deeply jealous and teritorial. It also frustrates me that there is nothing we can do that she has never done and even more so when I hear stories about what she did with a man that she meant nothing to and will never do with me. However, she is one of the only women I've ever known who genuinely wants to care for me. SHe spent the first few months of our relationship fighting me and my wife for my love and attention. She held my to her breasts while I wept over my decision not to chase my wife anymore. She has my back more than anyone else I know. Nothing could drive her from my side. She gets along with everyone I want her to. I don't have to try at our love. People grow up with the ideal that love is such hard work. I've seen it. It is. But not here. For whatever reason. I'm not doing that puppy love, fresh relationship shit. I don't have that in me anymore. I've actually been severely jaded by my ex-wife and my family. I came into this relationship, like I'd been here in it for a million years. I don't think I could ever live without her. She's so beautiful to me. Past aside. I don't know a better woman, today. SHe makes me feel safe and smart. She knows how to treat me like a man that's worth something to her. I've been to and through hell and I think that if I was still in that hell Akilah loves me enough that she would still be by my side. I would kill fo this woman. I'm fully connfident that no matter what happens I can count on her loving me as much as I love her. That's what 've been missing all my life. Akilah's what I've been missing all my life. | | |
| Guess what the title means. Sorry I'm so late with this. I had to edit out a lot. You're gonna love this one. I'm gonna start this note off by telling some of you, without the life experience to know, a very complex fact. This fact being; It takes two types of men to handle a Caribbean woman, or a woman who was raised under Caribbean influence. I've been in serious relationships with all types of Caribbean women. Puerto Ricans, Cubanas, Jamaicans, Hatians, and as of late, a woman from Chicago who was raised on St.Croix. My first serious relationship, I got knifed. I've been beat up. Had furniture tossed at me, had mobs of angry men sent to chase me down the streets, hit in the head with pots and irons. A woman let her rottwieler loose on me. I've worn all types of food. All of these things were done out of, either, jealousy, or a lack of desire to see me leave. I always proceeded to lose my mind too. We always loved eachother afterward. It's the nature of a Caribbean relationship. We don't consider it disfunctional. This is just the way it goes. One of those men is the nigga that doesn't give a shit about anything. He wants to smoke and when it's available he wants sex. Nothing can bother him as long as he has these things. His woman can lose her damn mind, call his mama all types of bitches. He won't even be phased. Speak calmly to her about "coolin out" or mumble his objections under his breath. But nothing really bothers the man. These men are usually also Caribbean. They're used to the shit. However, they are human. They're still bottling shit up. This is also the man that can one day end up killing a bitch. The other, is the nigga that's just as crazy as she is. The woman jumps crazy and this nigga's tryin to jump just as high and far. These relationships are never really understood unless you have been in one. These two people appear to be willing to kill one another, but it usually takes harm to a child to drive either of them to the point that they would want to be without the other for good. This is the relationship that you see on television the most. Alot of screaming and cursing and transitions from English to their native tongue. A little wrestling. Sometimes somebody even gets cut or hit with something. I am the ladder. I know that it may catch some of you by surprise, because the man I just described usually acts the one I described first until something jumps off. Now I been listening to this shit for a week! All this hoopla over Chris Brown and Rihanna having a fuckin arguement in the street after a party. For the love of God. That woman is from Barbados! I wish the whole worl knew what that shit meant. So here's the run down. The facts. Some people called the poh-lease cause they heard Chris Brown in the street arguing with Rihanna in the middle of the night. Next day; the lil nigga turns himself in to the police on charges of crimal threats. That's because all anybody knows for a fact is that they heard the boy yelling some threats. He bonds out of jail and vanishes. Rihanna's got a bruise on her face and some bite marks or some shit. Now from what I hear, Rihanna says that she it him. She won't tell the cops that he hit her. Caribbean woman don't talk to cops for no shit having to do with their man. She's going back home to get out of the spot light while this shit cools down. It's rumored that the fight was because Chris wanted to end the relationship. This shit will get you beat up by a Caribbean woman. Period. If I wanted to leave Akilah, I would have to, either, fight my way out of this apartment and disapear into the night or just vanish while she wasn't home. That's just the way it is. Ask anybody. It's also rumored that the fight started because Brown was flirting with Leona Lewis at a party and Rihanna got jealous. Two type of Caribbean women. The ones that kick your ass for flirting with an attractive woman and the ones that flirt with attractive women with you. Praise my Tiny Dirty Jesus that I don't have to deal with the first type. but only a punta idiota would let the first type of Caribbean woman see you near a hot girl. This will get your ass STABBED. I heard that Rihanna got herpes from Jay-Z and then gave it Chris. When he comfronted her about it she did what a Caribbean woman does and tried to turn it around on him. THen the fight got to where it went and such. I just read about Jay-Z hearing about this and then taking his frustrations out by making empty threats to Brown. Said some shit about the 19-year-old boy being a walking dead man. I can't believe this stupid shit in particular. I look at Hova as a fuckin role model for young black men. Then he threatens one in his time of need. This would be a smart time to be talking to both of these kids about staying out of the public eye when your relationship isn't going so well or something. I'm considered an OG in my crew. OG's don't make public death threats to the young bloods! That's just fuckin embarrassing. On top of that shit people are fuckin crusifin the kid. His music is off the radio. He last that damn gum commercial. I can't stand it. People talkin about "I'm uh thow mah Chris Brown records in the garbage!" NIGGA WHAT!! R.Kelly is on tape having great sex with a 14 year-old girl. Like, I shoot to have R.Kelly sex tape grade sex when I'm trying to impress my woman. Then he pissed all over her. THen the nigga lied about it. Not only did the same idiots act like they believed him, they never, EVER, even discussed boycotting the man's music. FUCKING LITTLE GIRLS IS MORE MORALLY SOUND AND ACCEPTABLE THAN HAVING A PHYSICAL ALTERCATION WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!?!? Son of a.... You wanna know what happened? I know from experience. The arguement got to the point that you decide to fight or walk away. Rihanna chose to fight. Brown ain't never seen no shit like this. The kid probab;y grabs her at first. She's still screaming in his face and beatin on him. He gets frustrated beyond his own belief and bites the girl. As an aside, "woman beaters", as if were, don't bite. I promise. SHe's loosing the fight now and demands that he let her out of the car. SHe gets out and rushes his side of the car and pulls him into the street. THey slap one another. It's done. Everybody's hurt. If the world hadn't put thier nose in the shit the kids would've made up by now. I'm tired of hearing and reading abot women saying that Chris Brown is a woman beater. He deserves to be raped in prison and shit. IT'S CHRIS BROWN!! God dammit. He's a kid. A sweet, little, preppy, wanna be bad, pretty boy. He just now got some booty! These dumb snatches would be calling him all types of punks and laughing at him if he just took an ass beating. It's just crazy to me to see people turn so quickly on somebody they were just in love with. A simple twist on the story and they'd be saying something completely different and the music would still be just as hard to live without. This shit is so crazy and utterly foolish to me. Come on ladies and gentlemen. What're your thoughts? | | |
| So tonight, I'm on some other shit. I wanna discuss loyalty. I have a great sense of loyalty, in my opinion. I know some people with strong senses of loyalty as well. But a majority of people that I observe, are barely loyal so themselves.
When I pledge my loyalty to someone else, it means that no matter what happens I will not abandon you. NO MATTER WHAT. You will always be able to call me for help. I will have your back in any situation that doesn't compromise my loyalty to my brothers or the alpha female(Akilah Feagins).
I often see people abandon their children, or snitch on their younger brothers. Women leave home for days, abandoning their families for useless reasons. Mother fuckers just fade out and can't be reached for any reason. People tell me straight up, that they have no idea why I show such loyalty to others.
I recently had one fuck head pretend to be my friend to get to my wife. I was fuckin livid at first. Akilah told me a story that was supposed to explain to me that there is no such thing as the honor and loyalty that I believe in. Heart sinking reality.
I have only compromised my idea of loyalty once. Just recently. The woman was never going to stop abusing me. SHe was never going to stop taking for granted that I would never turn my back on her. Cause I wouldn't have and she knew it. So I had to switch the style up.
I know about 7, out of 30, of my "friends" that are down for me the way that I am down for them. I can call them at just about any hour that they can hear the phone and they'll be right here, if I need them to be. Not that fake ass BFF shit either. Real niggas pullin up in the parking lot behind you and your boys and rushin you just cause it looks like you're the reason that I called.
I've seen a family that doesn't know eachother. I know woman and her daughter that don't know anyone in their family. They have a few friends. Nobody in their family knows them though. It's crazy to me. I have a thousand problems with my family. I keep in touch with every one of them. There's an implied loyalty between family. At least in black and hispanic culture there is. THere's nothing that should cause a family to tear away from one another, in my opinion.
So I ask in this note; 1.What is loyalty to you? 2. Do you ever feel like you should betray your own loyalty to someone that trusts you? 3.Do you know of anyone that abuses the loyalty of others? 4.Do you honor layalties that are implied by relationships?
PLEASE: Keep the comments relivent. Comment on the note with complete thoughts, not "wow" (Kisha). COMMENT ON THE NOTE. Don't call me, text me, message me, chat with me about it, or read the whole thing and disrespect my efforts by not saying shit.
PS. Charles Donnie Scott and Phillip Gerard Jones squat down side by side and catch the shit that comes from the other's ass and eat it. They do this at Gwinnett Place Mall, by the hotel. Chris Price masturbates, while he watches. FUCK YA'LL NIGGAS!! | | |
| Since I got out of prison I've always aspired to be one of those people on the internet that write things that other people read and wanna talk about. I get success here and there. Sometimes I have friends, LIKE CHARLES DONNIE SCOTT, that refuse to talk about things on the internet and call me to discuss the stuff. Even so, every so often people do what I'm looking for. I'm just gonna stay at it. Maybe I'll get paid for it one day.
A large amount of my writings are about my day to day life. I love hearing what people think about the crazy things that go on with with me and my family. The others are about human nature. I spend a huge amount of time studying human behavior. Devising theories and ideas about people's motives and reasons when I see things that are out of place or even things that are in place that are forced or unecissary.
Today I feel like talking about how people tend to lie to themselves about the world around them. I pay attention to people. Watching them from a distance mentally. Even when it's just me and them. I even watch myself. For the truth can only truely be discovered in one's self. Somebody told me that once.
I've noticed a startling majority of adults in the generation that was born in the 80's do not see the world. A lot of them live in a state of manufactured reality that usually doesn't even make them comfortable. They imagine other people's motives and actions to be malicious toward them. They pretend that they have enemies. They even make-believe that people they've never met, or don't care about them at all, have a problem with them. What is this?
Allow me to provide and example. I know a young lady that I often forget exists. She has been watching me and doing crazy things to me for almost ten years. The kinds of things that I never would have believed a person would try to do to someone who has never harmed them. Let alone a person that doesn't know they are on the the Earth. When I have spoken with this young lady, not only does she forget that she has done these things, what she does remember has an honest justification in her belief. I never assume that anyone(but myself) does anything that they don't have a reason to do. Even when that reason is selfish or dishonest. Simple action/reaction law. But there are reasons behind these devious acts of destruction and sabotoge that are, for lack of a better word, fantasy. This particular young lady is like something out of a movie. She has played "Chess" with my life and many of the people in it in a fashion that I can hardly believe to be true. Yet, almost every time I get on my Batman(detective work) to get to the bottom of a problem in the past, she is the source, or involved in the source. If she has no real involvement she usually tries to find a way to get involved.
Even today she butts in to things that are HUGE. My life's issues are way beyond her high school drama chasing level of inteligence. Yet she refuses to mind her own business. My brother's heart has been broken because a girl that he was crushing on would suddenly lock her sights on me, because this girl put into her head that I wanted her and he didn't. My old girlfriends think that I was cheating, because some girl that I don't know told them that I was just at her cousin's house for hours. People from the past that will wreck my life find me or my family, and when asked about it they say that they recieved a message from this young lady that I was looking for them and she pointed them in my direction.
Another example I would like to use is the average man or woman that seem to blame the world for their problems. THis affliction can't really be generalised so easily, but it exists. No matter what happens I always accept responsibility for anyhting that goes wrong in my life. Often times I pick through a senario that seems to be the fault of another, completely, to try and find out where I went wrong. I've even gone so far as to accept responsibilty for something that someone lied about, simply because I made the decision to involve that person in my life to begin with. They wouldn't be here to tell the lie had I not invited them to be here. I'm really good at judging character and running off assholes. If I missed one, i did it on purpose for some reason.
However, I know people that do terrible things to others, do horrible things to themselves, really fuck shit up, and never stop blaming someone else. These people often tell you to stop blaming others when you tell them something that happened to you is their fault. Somehow, though, when they do something that causes a problem, it's the fault of someone else. I've noticed that this particular problem stems from a lack of understanding of the word "responsibility". Perhaps, even, not being accustomed to taking responsibility for one's own actions or, at least, one's own conduct.
I, on the other hand, am the type of sick human being that tortures himself with an archaic, even draconic, sense of "right" and "wrong". These ideas are often feuled by a sense of honor, loyalty, and responsibility that I am sometimes called stupid for believing in. I am so often ready to sacrifice myself for friends and family. I sometimes spend years ready to kill for someone and find out, through some horrible series of events, that my loyalty was misplaced. I'm not just talking about my marriage. It seems that so many people want to have somone like me in their life, but don't realize how wrong it is to call me a friend when you're not ready for the commitment that i demand. i can speak about this easily, because it's me.
Imagine the family German Shepard Dog. Always happy to see you. Never viewed as a threat once the introductions are gotten past. Happy and playful with the children. Anyone that you bring home, that you say is a friend, becomes family to this animal. The dog will never hurt you, no matter how loud you curse. The dog knows that you love him and would gladly lay down his life to protect yours. Nobody that comes near you or "home" is above scutiny until you say so. He will follow you anywhere. He simply wants to be with you and wants you to show him, in any simple fashoin, that you love him too.
He never sees a reason to question his devotion to you. You can come and go as you please. Drop him off somewhere and not come back for months. No matter what he will be extactic to see you and overjoyed to be in your presence. In spite of his beautifully, ignorant, good intentions, the dog is stupid for this. I say this, simply because, everybody is not a dog lover.
Rarely, a person understands the animal and returns his love or just sends him away to find someone that will. Some people will view him as a possesion to be owned and played with at their whims. Some may see hime only for a big, dumb animal and never even think of the love he has for them. Some may not know how to react to that sort of love and end up abusing him as they experiment with it. Some people, the most unfortunate, may fear that level of devotion and attempt to destroy it or force it out of existance for fear of what they don't understand.
9 times out of 10 I get the 4th reaction to my approach to human interaction. This is not really offensive. Just a testiment to the state of the world I live in. I often feel that I need a time machine to find a place that I belong and don't have to be warry of people taking advantage of my stupidity. Alas, that I will not see.
Anyway...What are your thoughts? I know niggas can't read anymore, but I took the risk and really let loose. I hope I'm not disappointed, but look at who I'm dealing with. I'M TALKING ABOUT PHILLIP GERARD JONES AND CHARLES DONNIE SCOTT!! YEAH, YOU NIGGA! WHAT THE FUCK? | | |
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